On the road again???

Things are moving slower than molasses on a crisp December morning with the maintenance position at Caterpillar. I've passed all their "jump through hoops" tests with flying colors and have been waiting a week now for a scheduled interview. The ad indicated some degree of urgency for filling the position. Apparently urgency now comes as a sliding scale thing.

It's beginning to look like being out on the road for a week at a time is going to be the best way to make any serious buckage. I managed to locate a position that is based out of Arlington Texas and drives mainly between Texas and Tennessee with occasional stops in neighboring states. The difference here was these guys are offering a flat rate per week rather than a per mile based pay system. (which usually ends up being a sliding scale thing to where the farther you drive the less you get paid per mile) They are offering $950 a week with a $1000 sign on bonus. That's not bad money, folks! Works out to about $23 and hour. '05 and '06 Freightliners with condo sleepers and either a 48' or 53' trailer behind that... all "no touch" freight too. Love snuggling with Honey every night but we've got bills that have to be paid. Need to get those eliminated so we can start paying US instead of them... yanno?

My "IDEAL" job is still a pipe dream but I'm certain that there is a valid need if I could just figure out how to market myself. I call the operation "Run it by Joe" and it works like this: Companies are all the time putting new stuff on the market. This stuff is usually well tested by the time it goes into final production but stuff still gets out there that should not have gotten that final okay. Probably half of all the stuff I put my hands on has some sort of little thing wrong with it that has just plain been overlooked. Could be in issue with functionality, placement of operational controls, missing feature or other flaw.

For example.... I spent $50 for a 12 million candle power spotlight for my truck. This thing is BIG! Has a shoulder strap to make carrying it easier.... although it can be carried in one hand easily enough. Problem? Yeah.... all the controls are placed in such an awkward location that it takes both hands just to turn the darn thing on and off. That's just plain DUMB on the part of a manufacturer to have let it go to production like that. The main spotlight needs a trigger type switch located under the carrying handle so it can be operated with one hand. No brainer for me but something simple that slipped past a heck of a lot of other folks.

Often my advice to companies would be "leave it alone" folks. Take something simple like a bottle of Tums. Their product has stayed the same for many years because it works just fine. So to add excitement to things they start messing with the packaging. Several years ago they hit perfection! Nice bottle shape and a lid that could be removed and reinstalled with one hand in the dark. Doesn't get any better than that. Then they "improved" it. Now you had to use both hands and do some sort of twisting action to attempt to pry the damn lid off.... and it was even tougher to get back on! How that made it to the shelves is a mystery. Then they sort of went back to the first design.... but decided to make the lid a two part thing with the upper part attached and hinged. Okay.... idea wise not too bad.... IF it works okay.... which it doesn't. The hinge is wimpy and the upper part of the cap often becomes detached. Then you have to reassemble the cap and each time you do this the fit becomes a little bit more sloppy... so the entire system just degrades over time. Fortunately all these little problems cause heartburn... which makes you use the product more quickly... so you can toss the defective bottle sooner!

And while I'm on the subject of packaging.... AAARRRRRGGGGGGGGG!!!! Is anyone else out there pissed off at the fact that it's damn near impossible to open ANYTHING anymore without some sort of sharp instrument? How about all those things you thought you had opened only to find something else blocking your access to the product? While that nice polycarbonate material makes it very easy to see what you're about to purchase.... if you don't have a really sharp knife you are NOT going to ever get your hands on the merchandise. So... for example... do NOT purchase anything before your plane takes off... or after it lands at an airport. Why? WELL! The almighty all knowing Federal Government says you can't have even a gentleman's knife inside the security zone at an airport. Thus you can't open a damn thing until you've left the facility... gone to a hardware store and purchased a replacement for the sweet little blade taken from you before you could board the flight. By the way.... remember to box up and mail your new knife to your home before you attempt to fly to your home because the jerks are going to take the new one away from you too.

Sort of derailed there.... over reaching government just sort of pissed me off. But back to packaging.... I hate things like pulling the little red tab on a gallon of milk..... getting rid of that... opening the lid.... only to find that there is some other little seal glued to the top of the bottle.... usually with no tab on it so you have nothing to grab hold of to remove the damn thing. (got that knife handy?) Or you take down that new box of snack crackers.... figure out the secret handshake necessary to separate all the little cardboard tabs without ripping the entire top off.... only to find a neat little plastic bag inside that's full of tasty crackers and heat sealed to make SURE that they don't get out..... EVER! Pull and tug this way and that.... nothing... damn thing will NOT give up the treats! One either ends up increasing force until the entire bag finally rips apart.... scattering crackers all over hell and back..... OR.... you're digging for that knife again.... and a zip lock bag so you can reseal to keep the treats fresh.

How about peanut butter! Now I love peanut butter! I'm one of the few guys that thinks putting peanut butter ON peanut butter is normal. However.... unscrew the lid and there's that damn secondary seal super glued to the top of the jar. Usually there is a little bitty tab somewhere you can barely get your thumb and forefinger on. Pry that up and start giving it a pull.... what happens? Most of the seal thing comes off the jar.... BUT all that's happened is that you have successfully torn the damn thing in half.... and the lower part is still glued tight as hell to the top of the jar... only no tab to pull on this time! Got that knife handy?

Is it too much to ask that when we buy something we can actually OPEN the damn package? Is it too much to ask that we only have to open the package ONCE? And if it's a dry food item... like those snack crackers... how about y'all put those in a nice zip lock bag so we can reseal them? Thanks.

Pushin' 60

May 3rd marked something of a macabre milestone in my life. It was a point at which I'd outlived my father by two years. Dad was a piece of work to be sure. I paint the mental picture of him as being 6 feet tall and looking like a 55 gallon drum on a pair of fence posts. Bird like skinny legs but with a massive upper torso that never lacked in strength. As a boy I clearly remember him tossing pumps into the back of the old Ford Ranch Wagon that would instantly cause the tailgate to drop 6 inches from the weight. (things I found later I could not even make move let alone lift!)

Dad had a wicked sense of humor but was, by nature, a fairly quiet man. With his size and strength he had no reason to be loud, obnoxious or anything other than humble. He was always in control yet rarely going to the effort to point that out to anyone who couldn't instantly figure it out on their own. Cross him and one look into those silver blue eyes.... now like to orbs of the coldest ice... let you know you'd just made a serious mistake. Like most big powerful men his gentle side generally ruled the day. Most troublemakers would just get to see him turn and walk away. I'm sure the majority never knew how lucky they were that he did. A few of dads oldest friends related tales of the few times when he had no option but conflict. He simply never lost.

Were dad alive today he'd be almost 80. His hair had been turning white since his 20's, Pearl Harbor and World War 2. When he died at 57 it was almost totally white. I'm sure his great grand children would have found him to be a gentle giant. Laughing, on the floor playing with them at their level, never too busy to devote his full attention to them. 20 years ago may have found him and his two sons riding through the countryside on their motorcycles together. I would have enjoyed that greatly. I miss you dad.


NEWS FLASH

April 11th marked a much more delightful milestone. The lovely and gracious Miss Rebecca, my companion and very significant other for many years, became my wife. (Or I became her husband.... or we both became someone else's something or other) Anyway, we got married! In trying to be somewhat romantic I thought Paris might be nice. I know she loves Sushi while I prefer good old dead red medium rare. I managed to locate a Japanese Steakhouse/Sushi bar which filled both bills nicely. SO! Two aging Americans, Paris and a Japanese joint. Sounds international as hell so far! Since I do fairly well with Italian cooking.... how about a little side trip to Italy prior to returning home? Works for me!

We got up early that Friday morning after sleeping nicely on the Japanese fare from the night before. We traded rings and the local official announced us to be man and wife. (or Wife and Man. Works for me either way) Following that we departed for Italy all nice and married and legal. We traveled Italy from end to end and were absolutely shocked to discover that it contained not ONE Italian restaurant! (Something seriously wrong with that picture) SO.... logically concluding that ANY food cooked in Italy had to be Italian just on that basis.... we settled for BBQ. Where else but Texas can a couple have such an international experience and never leave the state? Oh, as an aside, upon returning to Dallas we discovered that April 11th was my fathers birthday. Rather odd coincidence.

House wise we have managed to finish ONE more wall!!!! The enthusiasm we had early on for the remodeling project seems to had dissipated almost completely. The foundation is settling on the west side of the house so most of the interior wall work is going to crack eventually. While we'd like to have that stabilized, there is the $$$ side to consider. We simply don't have the $ to make that happen right now. Long term it's a case of dealing with the settling and cracking now then deal with the cracking again later when we can have that side of the house raised.

On the job front we're both in a transitional state right now. At my second truck driving job I discovered that I really don't function well in a micromanagement environment... particularly one which expects a driver to accomplish 19 hours of work in a 14 hour time frame. Keeping in mind that a driver can only drive for a total of 11 hours a day and work 3 additional hours for a maximum of 14..... my last trip had me leaving Arlington and driving to McAllen. (That's 10 hours right there just driving) Then it had me making deliveries to 5 stores from there to Brownsville PLUS a back haul produce pickup in Weslaco. That's pushing 20 hours real hard. I got my butt reamed for not getting it all done on schedule. A schedule that, for the record, indicated my start and stop point to be San Antonio rather than Arlington.... as if the difference in start points makes NO difference at all in being able to maintain the schedule. As with most things I really don't mind the work. Just give me something to do and then get the hell out of my face and out of my life until I'm done. IF, by chance, I need something from you... I'll track you down. If you don't hear from me assume all is well and bother someone else. I'm interviewing this coming week for an industrial maintenance position with a division of Caterpillar.

At Miss Rebecca's place the signs of eventual closing are beginning to look like the strip in Las Vegas. Every change for the past several years has been designed to piss some folks off enough that they will quit.... thus saving management from the task of firing them. Becky is the last of the true proofreaders there. The Atlanta office was completely eliminated last week and the Dallas office is not even 1/4th of the staffing level it was when she started working there. All policy changes are thought out and designed to promote attrition rather than retention. She's interviewed for another proofreader position and seems to be high up on the "A" list for hiring in the near future. It will mean a commute of almost 100 miles a day for her in the worst traffic Dallas has to offer though. Still they have already indicated that flexible hours are a real possibility so the traffic may not end up being an issue.

One final note. Remember the giant leg FUBAR several years ago? Motorcycle..... flat tire.... fire hydrant.... all that wonderful stuff. Unless I'm wearing shorts you'd never know my right leg had ever been messed up. Since fuel prices are fairly obscene a more economical means of transportation seemed to be in order. While I was looking at scooters on the internet, Miss Rebecca suggested I speak to my brother about buying his spare motorcycle.... a Suzuki M50. He was willing.... we bought it.... and 54 miles per gallon sure beats 16! Added bonus.... wind in my face and bugs in my teeth! (Free protein!!!)

Y'all take care of each other!!